24th of December. I saw this beautiful arrangement at John Lewis as we were doing our Christmas eve food shopping that day. Still tired from our short staycation from Bath, we managed to visit Oxford Circus one last time before Christmas. It's not as busy as I expected it to be. I am happy as can be, then I remember about my attempt to complete a blog-mas this month. I've been meaning to complete my blog-mas with pure intent...
then I got sick half way of December.
It's amazing how such an unwelcome diversion like being sick can teach you profound things about life. That it is okay to try and stop. That trying by itself is a triumph. I won't lie, I am a recovering perfectionist. I want everything on point, immaculate even. However, there's a problem. Perfection is a myth. It is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and this seemingly innocuous thing prevents me from trying. I don't think it's an accident that I'm reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic the past days. It is so engaging and liberating. It's that push that I desperately need to do something that I always like to do: create.
I wouldn't have done it without a pause. Stopping for a while is cathartic. Not to be confused with procrastination, pausing equates to refilling your proverbial tank so you can get up and fill this world again. It is 28th of December as I type this and I'm happy to make a big step on one of my secret projects. I've been dreaming of doing this for years if not for fear. Things will hopefully change this 2020. A fresh new sheet. I'm excited! -CMK
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