Having a bit more confidence is something we could all go for, at least some of the time. Even those of us who don’t normally lack a bit of self-esteem can find ourselves struggling for that bit of positive affirmation that allows us to overcome our doubts and push ahead with a new project, a lifestyle change or a personal goal. Statistics have suggested that as many as 85% of us would say we suffer from low self-esteem - and when you recognise that often brashness is not a sign of confidence but a cover for self-doubt, it’s maybe not a surprise that the number is that high.
We could all benefit, then, from finding a way to lift our self-confidence, and the more we can do to get that boost, the better. Below, we’ll go into a few ways that we can gain a lasting sense of self-affirmation that doesn’t just get us through the occasional confidence crisis, but sticks with us as time goes on.
Meditation
So much of our lack of self-confidence comes from negative self-talk. We focus on our doubts, we tell ourselves we can’t do things, and we try to talk ourselves out of things. And this wouldn’t be so much of a problem if the outcome was that we listened to a doubt, changed our plans and lived without inner conflict. However, we have these conversations with ourselves over and over again. Nothing gets solved, but we do get to hear our inner monologue talking us down time and again.
By meditating, we push the chatter aside and aim to think more clearly. Unbounded self-confidence is not a desirable state (because it’s a good thing you don’t think you can fly - it would be dangerous if you tried). If you can clear your mind of the noise and set aside the arguments over whether or not your plans are realistic, you can then focus on doing the things you do well, and get positive reinforcement from that.
Look after yourself
The better you feel physically, the more confident you will feel. A lot of what we perceive as low mood mentally - and what translates into feelings of low confidence - is seeded in feeling unstimulated physically. If you wake in the morning feeling like you lack energy, or you have aches or pains, this will translate into a lack of readiness to face the day. If you do the right things to keep your energy up and your body feeling well, you’ll see the advantages in ways you hadn’t foreseen.
This means eating well - a Mediterranean-style diet is famous for keeping inflammation and aches at bay, and is recommended for mental clarity. Exercising will also help - the release of endorphins that comes from a good workout is an additional benefit on top of the increased energy and mobility. Also, supplementing with treatments like magnesium and Priligy (for men) or Iron (for women) can be hugely effective both in helping you feel better and increasing confidence.
Stop comparing yourself to anyone else
You are you. No matter how much you look at anyone else and admire a quality that they hold, trying to model yourself on them is always going to end up going badly, and comparing yourself to them is a fool’s errand. You don’t see them 24 hours a day, so you can’t possibly know what goes into making them the person they are, and you could be missing their crises of confidence, any shortcuts they take, or a wealth of other factors that would better explain why they are able, in front of you, to be the person that you would wish to be.
It’s negative and outright unfulfilling to compare yourself to anyone else. You’ll never be them, and for all you know that might be a good thing. What you can be is the best possible version of yourself. You can look at any number of avenues for self-improvement - through learning academically, charitable acts, giving encouragement to others or advocating for friends, just to name a few. It’s always going to be much better to be the best version of you than it is to be a tribute act to someone else. And it’s much easier, in the long run.
Building confidence isn’t about mantras and loud music - although if you find that these help you, by all means stick with them! - it’s about feeling better on the inside and letting that radiate out of you. By following the above tips, you can feel and show more confidence in whatever you’re aiming to do.
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